Changes

So I have been thinking about things a lot lately. I know thats a stretch but sometimes it has to be done. I have been thinking about how quickly things change in your life and about how quickly things come and go. I guess I have started to realize why my belief in the Lord is so important because of how much things change. I don't know if that makes any sense, but He never changes and I guess that gives me stability. This week my sister will be here visiting, which I cannot wait! For those of you that don't know she has Chronic Myloid Lukemia and has been living with it for 5 years now. She was diagnosed about 6 months before my father passed away of brain cancer. It has been a crazy 5 years in my life with my father passing away, Susan getting sick and Shaun and I having our first child. What a whirlwind huh? We will be spreading my dads ashes FINALLY this weekend and I think it has finally hit me that life isn't going to be the same, Natalie isn't going to know her grandpa, my sister will probably never be well; but despite all of these things everything is going to be okay. I have been inwardly emotional these last few weeks thinking about my father and finally putting him to rest. Our relationship was crazy and very rocky, but for the most part there was more love than anything. I don't think I realized until recently that I have needed to just forgive and just love him, and even though he isn't here to say it to I say thank you for all of the wonderful things in my life that you gave me. I know he is in heaven and can hear me and I know he is proud of me and the path I am on today. So this week will be an emotional cleansing experience and an enlightenment for me to move forward and to grasp the happiness that is in front of me right now! I know Natalie has already met him in heaven because she acts way too much like him! She is just as smart as he was, and just as hot tempered as her grandpa!! I hope I can teach her all of the great things that he taught me so she can have wonderful thoughts of the man she never met but means so much in her life! So I tell myself before I go this weekend, enjoy life, and embrace todays journey, let go of yesterdays, but keep it in your heart so it touches your life every day!


So as I talk about change some things never change, and thats great friends! I got to see some wonderful friends that I haven't seen for a long while! It's great when you move and grow that you have some true friends you can still hang on to and always have a special connection with them. One of our old friend Carrie who moved to Colorado was passing through and we all got together with our combined 8 children (I only supplied 1!) and had a great time for a day! I can't wait to see them again! And Tammy, send me the pictures would ya!

I'm also greatful I got to spend some quality time with my great friend Dacia. No matter how long it's been since we've seen eachother, I always feel like we've never been apart! I got to spend a day with her before she took off to her new life in California, and I am so greatful for that time we spent together. I know no matter where we are in this world we will always be kindred spirits!! Good luck Dacia on your new journey I hope it leads you to a lifetime of happiness!!

So my last comment on changes, (I know this is getting long I will shut up at some point) my darling little girl my how she is growing! Sometimes I wonder how it goes so fast and how she can change so much from day to day. I'm not sure which one of us is more strong willed, but she by far has more energy so she ends up winning the battles. But just so you know, I am winning the war!! I am not quite sure how a 15 year old spirit is trapped in my 2 year olds body, but I am sure that she is far to young to act the way she does. If she's not rolling her eyes at me she is sighing at me or making some snide comment such as "what are you even talking about" or "If you don't stop mom I'm going to give you a spanking and send you to time out" And believe me this is not an exageration, she says those exact words to me! So I guess I end this post saying, I wish somedays she would stop changing so fast, and other days I think when will she change again so this drama will end! But no matter what comes next, it will be better than the last!!